Convoy 2000
C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis; parody lyrics by Alan Chafin

“Convoy 2000” was an attempt to replicate the trip of the Rubber Duck from Los Angeles to New Jersey, as told in the song “Convoy”.


[On the CB]
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck. You still got your ears on, Pig Pen? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, you got it right. We’re gonna do that convoy thing one more time with a whole new mess a’ recruits. Yeah, just point that big rig toward Flag Town ’cause we’re ready to roll. Yeah, they’re callin’ this thing "Convoy 2000".

A rubber duck Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
With twenty-five years gone by
Since the “Convoy” song had first set sail
And hit a Number One high
Some friends of the Duck decided to go
Drive the route that the song had set
So we found a bunch a’ crazy drivers
Usin’ e-mail and that Internet

[Chorus]
’Cause we got a little convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
’Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!

[On the CB]
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here’s the Duck. Ain’t you delivered them hogs yet? Well, take ’em through the truck wash at the T.A. up ahead. Maybe that’ll take the smell down a notch or two.

Well we left on time from Shaky Town,
With Skywalker takin’ the lead
And Silversmith drivin’ right behind
As ol’ Snoopy picked up speed.
On I-one-oh and I-seventeen
We were joined by ninety more trucks
By the time we got inta Gallup town
Well waitin’ for us was the Duck!

[Chorus]
’Cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
’Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!

[On the CB]
Ah, Pig Pen you got one a’ them Pee-cees in your rig with an uplink to the ’Net? Pig Pen, surf that there ’Net and find out how to de-smell them hogs. That smell’ll shut down half the convoy. Mercy sakes.

Through Arizona then New Mexico
The Rubber Duck led the route
Through Texas and that Tulsa Town
Then Missouri state to boot
By the time we got to Illinoise
Well we got a big report
The National Guard was waitin’
Ta give us an armored es-cort
Those choppers, cars, and tanks and Jeeps
Was flankin’ ev’ry truck
They’d come to join ’cross their state
Just to honor The Duck
They took us to the Indiana line
Where they called good-bye to us
And there, just waitin’ on the other side
Was a chartreuse micra-bus.

[On the CB]
Ah, Rubber Duck to micra-bus; ain’t you painted that thing yet? Nice ta see you Friends a’ Jesus could join us again. Why don’t you just slide in behind this here rig? I feel a lucky streak comin’ on, 10-4.

Well, we ended the trip on the Jersey shore
At over ten thousand strong
That Atlantic town just can’t compete
When the great Rubber Duck comes along.
Well the Duck called "Break" when his fans had finished
The greatest trip a’ their lives
He said "Women and men, we’ll do it again.
“"In another twenty-five, 10-4”

[Chorus]
’Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
’Cross the U-S-A.

Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, looks like we made it again.
Convoy! I gotta be headin’ back out to Colorado a piece. Give me a shout next time you come
Convoy! through, good buddy. Keep your bits backed and your hard drive
Convoy! hummin’. We’ll be lookin’ for them bear reports. This here’s the Rubber Duck on the side.
Convoy! We catch ya on the flip-flop. ’Bye,’bye.